Stuart Diamond’s “Getting More: How to Negotiate to Achieve Your Goals in the Real World” Speaking @Intel

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Here are some quick notes I took today using my iPhone 4:

Stuart Diamond professor at Wharton School of Business and Pulitzer Prize winning journalist spoke at Intel headquarters in Santa Clara, CA on January 12, 2011.  His new book is “Getting More:  How to Negotiate to Achieve Your Goals in the Real World.

Negotiation is everywhere, what you know about it is probably wrong.

Perceptions and emotions.

Reject conventional wisdom when it comes to negotiating.

People and relationships not winners and losers or win-win.

Protection from hard bargainers

Subtle difference between success and failure.

It’s the process of getting people to do what you will them to do — this us the old way, resentment and retaliation, unstable because power changes quickly, short lived

Flatter, be conscious of others.

Think what you want them to think.

Can we work this out, how can we work together, don’t threaten.

To perceive Or be sen as understanding others views.

To feel what you want them to feel

Rather than name calling or saying you’re angry, just ask:  Are you happy, because I’m not happy?

You feel successful, I’m not feeling successful.

It’s always my fault if something foes wrong, says negotiator.

Cultural insensitivity causes confusion and distrust.

Find emotional payments or pain points to ease into a request for change.

Not I hate… But what do you like and what would you change?

People, individually, is the way not general.

Perceptions that are different create conflict or different takes

Ignore or dismiss info that doesn’t fit – bad.

What one sees so clearly the other may not be there at all.

Difference of opinions create more useful products vs consensus

Trading items of unequal value to build trust in exchanges.

The value of incremental vs big or exact success

Always communicate.

What is the standard?  Put it in writing

What’s really going on, state it clearly to disarm

Don’t make yourself the issue.

Always ask:  When’s the talk?

Emotional appeal first, then questions then examples.

Disagree and commit has problem:  may say ok but not whole heartfelt committed.  So try incrementally or trade ” do this and I’ll do this” trade of unequal value

When are you committed to relationship than just doing it to survive

Groundswell’s on My Bookstack

Groundswell Books, originally uploaded by Forrester Research, Inc..

This photo was taken at the Forrester Research Marketing summit this week — really wish I could’ve been there. But I did follow some of the action Jeremiah Owyang shared on his blog.

Forrester shared a copy with me — it arrived from Boston a few weeks ago. I gotta get into it. My Intel buddy Neil is approaching chapter three and he gave me the thumbs up.

I got to help Charlene Li connect with some Intel social media pioneers, including Josh Bancroft, who told how he created Intel’s first company Wiki called Intelpedia.

Charlene Li at Forrester\'s Marketing Summit in APril 2008, about a month after the release of \

My BookStack February 2008

BookStack_Feb2008, originally uploaded by KenEKaplan.

This is a follow up to my first “BookStack” post, which was inspired by a social media wiseman, Douglas Pollei.

After I finish Seth Godin’s new book “Meatball Sundae,” I’m movin’ ahead to my next stack of books for the year.

Some of these I already finished:

* “Let Your Life Speak,” a book about listening for the voice of vocation by Parker J. Palmer.
* “Who Moved My Cheese,” which is about how we can get unstuck when we need to change by Spencer Johnson, M.D. (a quick read on a plane ride).

But I’d like to mix in some more mind exercises with storytelling, marketing and communications. Some of these are a few years old, but here they are:

* “Mashup Corporation,” about the culture of communications change in the corporate world by Andy Mulholland, Chris S. Thomas, Paul Kurchina and Dan Woods.
* Seth Godin’s legendary “Permission Marketing,” which I believe is inside me already, but I want to get it in Seth’s words.
* “A Whole New Mind,” is about why right-brainers will rule the future by Daniel Pink. Not so sure I believe that yet, so it’ll be cool to feel my reaction.
* “The Springboard” is a book by Stephen Denning, who outlines how storytelling ignites action in knowledge-era organization. I’m a big fan of storytelling!

BookStack to Excercize Some Brain Cells

I loved the post by my friend Douglas Pollei back in November…the one he called BookStack, where he shared a pile of books he was diving into. By the way, he just did a cool post about how today’s marketers need whole-brain, strategic thinking skills to stay on top of their game.

Here is the pile I got through in 2007. I typically have four books going at one time, so it takes me a while to finish.

From the bottom to the top:
1) Your Inner CEO, Allan Cox (also find him doing great things on Facebook)

This is an inspiring, hands and mind-on book that lets you redefine who you want to be. Allan blends modern psychology and his CEO training experience. He’s really doing a great job connecting with people, getting people involved and showing how to use social media. Bravo!

2) The New Influencers, Paul Gillin

A must read that is quick, filled with mistakes and good things people and companies have done using social media. This book can help many marketers and communications pros get up to speed and off and running with social media.

3) Quantum Leap Thinking, James J. Mapes

I really enjoyed this book. It’s nice to stop and think about how you look at things, how your mind consumes the world. This can help open up perspectives by redefining limits with quick, meaningful leap ahead thinking.

4) We are Smarter than Me, Barry Libert & Jon Spector and Thousands of Contributors
The wisdom of crowds is tightly described in this nifty book. This is one of those huge concepts (like long tale) that are at the core of social media, social networking and how people are communicating better, faster and more openly than ever.

5) The Cluetrain Manifesto, Rick Levine, Christopher Locke, Doc Searls, David Weinberger
Many of my friends read this years ago, but it light me up and made me laugh out loud through several plane rides. Most of all, it got me fired up about getting to what matters by being real and honest. Irreverent. Timeless yet of our times.

6) Blink, Malcolm Gladwell
This is mind boggling. It might be telling us all what we already know, subconsciously…pre-reflexively. Think statics is tough? You actually bust our elementary functions, statics and algebra in a blink of the eye whenever you make a snap judgment or life-saving move.

7) Purple Cow, Seth Godin
I finally got to this book several years after it came out, but its as fresh as a warm latte. Seth is a succint storyteller who took off his rose colored glasses long ago and his truly helping marketing and communications pros cut the crap and focus on doing wonderful things. This is about breaking the status quo. It’s about the need for focusing on smaller, more meaningful audiences with something truly valuable. Cookie cutter won’t cut it for everyone anymore. I read this while visiting small towns in Calabria, southern Italy this winter. I believe that each little town is living what Seth is talking about. Each town is getting back to their heritage, their dialect, their crafts and celebrating their specialty foods and songs. It makes them special, and stand out from other neighboring towns.

8) Meatball Sundae, Seth Godin (standing, left)
Picked this up in Berkeley at Cody’s Bookstore and it’s yummy. I’m still flipping through it, but this is Seth Godin taking ideamaking to the next level — what not to do, so that you can see how to free yourself to make the right combinations. To use the right combination of traits from the left AND right sides of your brain.

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