Stuart Diamond’s “Getting More: How to Negotiate to Achieve Your Goals in the Real World” Speaking @Intel

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Here are some quick notes I took today using my iPhone 4:

Stuart Diamond professor at Wharton School of Business and Pulitzer Prize winning journalist spoke at Intel headquarters in Santa Clara, CA on January 12, 2011.  His new book is “Getting More:  How to Negotiate to Achieve Your Goals in the Real World.

Negotiation is everywhere, what you know about it is probably wrong.

Perceptions and emotions.

Reject conventional wisdom when it comes to negotiating.

People and relationships not winners and losers or win-win.

Protection from hard bargainers

Subtle difference between success and failure.

It’s the process of getting people to do what you will them to do — this us the old way, resentment and retaliation, unstable because power changes quickly, short lived

Flatter, be conscious of others.

Think what you want them to think.

Can we work this out, how can we work together, don’t threaten.

To perceive Or be sen as understanding others views.

To feel what you want them to feel

Rather than name calling or saying you’re angry, just ask:  Are you happy, because I’m not happy?

You feel successful, I’m not feeling successful.

It’s always my fault if something foes wrong, says negotiator.

Cultural insensitivity causes confusion and distrust.

Find emotional payments or pain points to ease into a request for change.

Not I hate… But what do you like and what would you change?

People, individually, is the way not general.

Perceptions that are different create conflict or different takes

Ignore or dismiss info that doesn’t fit – bad.

What one sees so clearly the other may not be there at all.

Difference of opinions create more useful products vs consensus

Trading items of unequal value to build trust in exchanges.

The value of incremental vs big or exact success

Always communicate.

What is the standard?  Put it in writing

What’s really going on, state it clearly to disarm

Don’t make yourself the issue.

Always ask:  When’s the talk?

Emotional appeal first, then questions then examples.

Disagree and commit has problem:  may say ok but not whole heartfelt committed.  So try incrementally or trade ” do this and I’ll do this” trade of unequal value

When are you committed to relationship than just doing it to survive

Today’s Leaders Are Open, Smart Enough to Temper Fear

Have I told you all how great you look today?

Long live brown nosing.  It came in at #8 in this weeks Business Week article by Liz Ryan “Ten Signs of Fear-Based Workplace.”

Thankfully, number 8 is the only item that I see today in my immediate workplace.  And when I really think about it, brown-nosing is healthy when we it goes both ways.  When genuine, it can introduce a dose of humility that helps balance or temper our hubris, our drive to assert our will and get things moving in our desired direction.

In my team, the Global Communication Group at Intel, I believe for the most part we all lead AND we all help when and where needed.  I’m workin’ it alongside great communicators who are also doers  — not merely strategists or plan makers.  Actions help build trust.

Lots of fear has been removed in the past decade since I joined Intel in 2000.  I bet that can be said by others who worked at Intel in the 1990s, when a major mantra was Only the Paranoid Survive, coined and well explained by wiseman and former Intel CEO Andy Grove.  Grove was not wrong, in fact his approach infuses much needed severity, concern and smart motivation, especially when you’re doing battle or fighting competition.

Garden leading to the Sistine Chapel, Rome, Italy

Fear-based decision making is effective, especially when you need to be in “survival mode.”  “Survival mode” may be best run autocratically, but I don’t think autocracies scale and grow quickly enough for today’s creative, faster-paced, technology-driven, cross-cultural entwined world.  Our government may be at war and our businesses may be in do-or-die competition, but leaders rise above this somehow.  Like how Odysseus cleverly created the statue Horse to get his top worriers inside the walls of Troy in one of the most epic, storied battles.

Seems that in the past, mistakes were devastating.  Today, honest mistakes can be inflection points for improvement and growth.  In fact, I hear many leaders saying that if you aren’t making mistakes, you’re limiting yourself, you’re not experimenting or trying as hard as you can.  You’re not tapping deeply enough into your skills, desires and potential.

Today I’m surrounded by stellar, inspiring people — veterans and new talent.  In my 10 years, I’ve witnessed the rise of new, open and capable managers and veteran managers who are embracing change by involving the right people up and down our organization.

Over time, our work environment has evolved to be simpler yet more dynamic.  Managers have empowered each individual more than I what I remember seeing 10, eight even five years ago.  This is because of all around, top to bottom, side to side better communication, better understanding of what motivates each individual, and trust and appreciation.

When you’re not in survival mode, this is leadership:  Here are our goals, tell me how you can help achieve them measurably, go do your thing your way, and let me know how I can help.  Let me take that back…that’s the best approach to surviving and thriving, bu harnessing the most, best potential out of each individual.

This is a trend well explained in the book by Altimeter analyst Charlene Li titled “Open Leadership.”

In my workplace, we’ve embraced then moved beyond fear into an era where we are all managing an almost overwhelming amount of opportunities and possibilities, where it’s OK to make mistakes but vital that we make progress.  Because we’re moving at Internet speed, we must make our mistakes and handle them smartly, make them count and don’t make the same ones twice.  Do this by communicating and getting more comfortable with being wrong occassionally while being quick to respond with honesty, humility and a remedy.  This is hard to do as an individual, as a spouse, parent and employee.  But starting there and bringing this devoted integrity approach to the workplace can result in integrated, magnified, multiplied results and reward for the individual, team and company.

A team may have one or two stars, but each player performing to their potential is benefiting the team, the company as a whole, better than individuals making decisions driven by fear.

The hard, cold, real conclusion Liz Ryan gives in her Business Week article explains why open leadership is ahead of fear-based leadership:

Chief executives know in their hearts that smart people, set loose to solve big problems, are responsible for every success and innovation industry has ever seen. Fear-trampled employees don’t do a thing for your business. Still, management by fear is a hard habit to break, because fear-whipped underlings don’t squawk. Meanwhile, your competitors may be hiring your best talent away and stealing market share while you make it easy for them to do so. Those meek, submissive, broken-down employees might blossom in your rival’s trust-based culture. Do you really want to find out?

More than ever, I feel — and I hope more people are feeling — fortunate, smarter, more motivated, creative and able to confront and share criticism in real time at work…and everywhere.

Are PR Agencies Dead?

Brian Solis is pioneer of moving the PR industry into and beyond the PR 2.0 era. He’s also an Intel Insider, one of 10 social media advisers I get to work with. Putting Public Back in Public Relations

I shot the video (at bottom) during the “Are PR Agencies Dead?” panel at South by Southwest 2009 just days before Brian’s new book was released called “Putting Public Back in Public Relations.”

This is one for the ages, an accessible read for students studying Journalism/Public Relations in college…and a great addition to my BookStack.

The week prior to SXSW, Brian gave me some great advice about getting the @intel Twitter account started using a “curator” approach rather than sharing a persona like some of the excellent account like Zappos and ComcastCares.

Over the past three years, I’ve seen Brian grow more prolific, helping so many people with his insights about PR, about how to best use social media and networking tools and how to go off and do something wonderful with your online persona. Today, he even has an interesting Micro Disruption Theory and The Social Effect.

Brian is someone well worth any free or multitasking time you can spare.  Here is a widget that will let you follow Brian Solis’ great photography, blog and Twitter posts.

Update:  Here is a great interview of Brian Solis by Seesmic mastermind Loic Le Muer:

Teach Behavioral Intelligence Across All Academic Fields, Along Every Career Path

The recent “Collaborating and Sharing Bring Real Value” post hijacked my imagination this morning. What if behavioral intelligence could be woven into our college major corriculum?

Principles of Psychology 101 would remain on the basic requirement list. As we climbed closer up our chosen education ladder towards our career path, that’s when we could build an understanding for how to work with people we’ll be collaborating with in the work world.

For any decision making situation — crisis or process — our professor might ask her students some empowering questions. As we move into careers, we might continue asking these types of questions:

  • How can I help, not force or overwhelm others into (submission) understanding?
  • Who do I admire and might my heroes behave?
  • What would Martin Luther King Jr. say ?
  • How would Gandhi handle this?
  • If I did it like this, might I be elitist, arrogant and doomed like Mussolini?
  • How might Seth Godin flip my view in a better direction so that my decision results in something special others find helpful, useful?
  • Does what I’m advocating entails shouting at a market rather than what Doc Searls might do: participate with others in a market?
  • What question would Jeremiah Owyang ask that’d break down a wall blocking me from reaching a goal with measurable results?
  • How might Rohit Bhargava take my well-intentioned approach and subtly re-engineer it into a more interesting, compelling and engaging action that might be more meaningful for my team or others I’d like to run with my idea/hope/plan?
  • How would springboard storyteller Stephen Denning craft a meaningful visual anecdote to help me jettison the imagination of my teammates, sending them surfing on a parallel brainwave alongside me?
  • Is there a point where I can squeeze in some passion sparked by my “Life Purpose” like Eckhart Tolle teaches?

My BookStack, collection of classics and poetry play a role in my decision making and influence how I embrace change.  I just found Terry’s Take on Business, a cool blog with a great collection of succinct book reviews for business.  For me, data is important but behavioral intelligence is the “core” or “key takeaways” inside every great great book, story, poem, movie…even a campaign plan.

Homer’s Iliad showed me the ruinous destruction of wrath and hubris — something I watch for in me and bubbling up in teammates. Then Homer’s Oddysey opened my eyes to the endless potential of intelligence as Odysseus blends knowledge of self, and open mind, quick wit, teamwork and cunning to keep on course. Odysseus makes me think of Mike Moran’s Do It Wrong Quickly — sure, we’ll stop at this isle of nymphs or scheme the giant Cyclops…be let’s hit it and quit it so we can escape alive and sail back home to my castle to be with the woman I love.

I wonder if The Institute of Behavioral Sciences could help create a common thread of behavioral intelligence training across all fields of academics. And career coaches and businesses would continue driving better appreciation and understanding of productive behavior, behavior where excellent criticism is immediately followed with excellent suggestions that help move things ahead.

If we really can mature civility with each generation, this is the time to pump up the importance of behavior in our information era.

At some point in our lives, we all say, “I’m going to keep learning forever!” Books are essential for learning. Yet there are are other powerful sources for learning behaviors that help us improve through times of change.  At any decision making point the people you involve become ingredients for moving beyond goals.  These ingredients build trusting relationships strengthen by informed behaviors that help us accomplish things better, more quickly.

If you regularly sharpen my behavioral skills, would you be more valuable, more helpful to your team, company and your own career.

Authors-Action Heroes at Web 2.0 Expo, SF08

There were many highlights from the Web 2.0 Expo:

  • Meeting Chris Brogan and the Radian6 crew
  • Experiencing the creative vibe inside social media room
  • Seeing how Twitter intrigue continues to drive new reasons/ways for live microblogging
  • Learning about SEO and trends for application developers — I see these trends are not locked into developers but also apply to communications pros. This is something I hope to explore in a near future post, building on notes I took from the two sessions I attended on Day One.
  • Seeing for the first time IBM‘s great slogan “Talking identifies limits.  Doing transcends boundaries.”
  • Seeing the Schwaggin’ Wagon posse in action — they drummed up lots of media buzz with by doing something many have talked about, but never did: take the exaggerated efforts of an event like Web 2.0 Expo and share the spoils with those who are more in need. This I’ll explore more in an upcoming blog post where I can share the photo I took.

The best part was getting to hang out with people like Rohit Bhargava and Tim Ferriss. Sure they’re authors (Rohit’s new book “Personality Not Included” and Tim’s 52 week NY Time top seller “Four Hour Work Week“), sure they’re idea guys…but they’re livin’ life and sharing ideas and best known methods with those who care and want to learn.

Web 2.0 Expo is not just about social media and the technologies behind it…it’s about the people and how they’re using the technologies to lead they way. And they way things are going, human behavior and personality is changing for the better as we share more, try more, do more of the things we’re passionate about.

Groundswell’s on My Bookstack

Groundswell Books, originally uploaded by Forrester Research, Inc..

This photo was taken at the Forrester Research Marketing summit this week — really wish I could’ve been there. But I did follow some of the action Jeremiah Owyang shared on his blog.

Forrester shared a copy with me — it arrived from Boston a few weeks ago. I gotta get into it. My Intel buddy Neil is approaching chapter three and he gave me the thumbs up.

I got to help Charlene Li connect with some Intel social media pioneers, including Josh Bancroft, who told how he created Intel’s first company Wiki called Intelpedia.

Charlene Li at Forrester\'s Marketing Summit in APril 2008, about a month after the release of \

My BookStack February 2008

BookStack_Feb2008, originally uploaded by KenEKaplan.

This is a follow up to my first “BookStack” post, which was inspired by a social media wiseman, Douglas Pollei.

After I finish Seth Godin’s new book “Meatball Sundae,” I’m movin’ ahead to my next stack of books for the year.

Some of these I already finished:

* “Let Your Life Speak,” a book about listening for the voice of vocation by Parker J. Palmer.
* “Who Moved My Cheese,” which is about how we can get unstuck when we need to change by Spencer Johnson, M.D. (a quick read on a plane ride).

But I’d like to mix in some more mind exercises with storytelling, marketing and communications. Some of these are a few years old, but here they are:

* “Mashup Corporation,” about the culture of communications change in the corporate world by Andy Mulholland, Chris S. Thomas, Paul Kurchina and Dan Woods.
* Seth Godin’s legendary “Permission Marketing,” which I believe is inside me already, but I want to get it in Seth’s words.
* “A Whole New Mind,” is about why right-brainers will rule the future by Daniel Pink. Not so sure I believe that yet, so it’ll be cool to feel my reaction.
* “The Springboard” is a book by Stephen Denning, who outlines how storytelling ignites action in knowledge-era organization. I’m a big fan of storytelling!

BookStack to Excercize Some Brain Cells

I loved the post by my friend Douglas Pollei back in November…the one he called BookStack, where he shared a pile of books he was diving into. By the way, he just did a cool post about how today’s marketers need whole-brain, strategic thinking skills to stay on top of their game.

Here is the pile I got through in 2007. I typically have four books going at one time, so it takes me a while to finish.

From the bottom to the top:
1) Your Inner CEO, Allan Cox (also find him doing great things on Facebook)

This is an inspiring, hands and mind-on book that lets you redefine who you want to be. Allan blends modern psychology and his CEO training experience. He’s really doing a great job connecting with people, getting people involved and showing how to use social media. Bravo!

2) The New Influencers, Paul Gillin

A must read that is quick, filled with mistakes and good things people and companies have done using social media. This book can help many marketers and communications pros get up to speed and off and running with social media.

3) Quantum Leap Thinking, James J. Mapes

I really enjoyed this book. It’s nice to stop and think about how you look at things, how your mind consumes the world. This can help open up perspectives by redefining limits with quick, meaningful leap ahead thinking.

4) We are Smarter than Me, Barry Libert & Jon Spector and Thousands of Contributors
The wisdom of crowds is tightly described in this nifty book. This is one of those huge concepts (like long tale) that are at the core of social media, social networking and how people are communicating better, faster and more openly than ever.

5) The Cluetrain Manifesto, Rick Levine, Christopher Locke, Doc Searls, David Weinberger
Many of my friends read this years ago, but it light me up and made me laugh out loud through several plane rides. Most of all, it got me fired up about getting to what matters by being real and honest. Irreverent. Timeless yet of our times.

6) Blink, Malcolm Gladwell
This is mind boggling. It might be telling us all what we already know, subconsciously…pre-reflexively. Think statics is tough? You actually bust our elementary functions, statics and algebra in a blink of the eye whenever you make a snap judgment or life-saving move.

7) Purple Cow, Seth Godin
I finally got to this book several years after it came out, but its as fresh as a warm latte. Seth is a succint storyteller who took off his rose colored glasses long ago and his truly helping marketing and communications pros cut the crap and focus on doing wonderful things. This is about breaking the status quo. It’s about the need for focusing on smaller, more meaningful audiences with something truly valuable. Cookie cutter won’t cut it for everyone anymore. I read this while visiting small towns in Calabria, southern Italy this winter. I believe that each little town is living what Seth is talking about. Each town is getting back to their heritage, their dialect, their crafts and celebrating their specialty foods and songs. It makes them special, and stand out from other neighboring towns.

8) Meatball Sundae, Seth Godin (standing, left)
Picked this up in Berkeley at Cody’s Bookstore and it’s yummy. I’m still flipping through it, but this is Seth Godin taking ideamaking to the next level — what not to do, so that you can see how to free yourself to make the right combinations. To use the right combination of traits from the left AND right sides of your brain.

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