Stuart Diamond’s “Getting More: How to Negotiate to Achieve Your Goals in the Real World” Speaking @Intel

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Here are some quick notes I took today using my iPhone 4:

Stuart Diamond professor at Wharton School of Business and Pulitzer Prize winning journalist spoke at Intel headquarters in Santa Clara, CA on January 12, 2011.  His new book is “Getting More:  How to Negotiate to Achieve Your Goals in the Real World.

Negotiation is everywhere, what you know about it is probably wrong.

Perceptions and emotions.

Reject conventional wisdom when it comes to negotiating.

People and relationships not winners and losers or win-win.

Protection from hard bargainers

Subtle difference between success and failure.

It’s the process of getting people to do what you will them to do — this us the old way, resentment and retaliation, unstable because power changes quickly, short lived

Flatter, be conscious of others.

Think what you want them to think.

Can we work this out, how can we work together, don’t threaten.

To perceive Or be sen as understanding others views.

To feel what you want them to feel

Rather than name calling or saying you’re angry, just ask:  Are you happy, because I’m not happy?

You feel successful, I’m not feeling successful.

It’s always my fault if something foes wrong, says negotiator.

Cultural insensitivity causes confusion and distrust.

Find emotional payments or pain points to ease into a request for change.

Not I hate… But what do you like and what would you change?

People, individually, is the way not general.

Perceptions that are different create conflict or different takes

Ignore or dismiss info that doesn’t fit – bad.

What one sees so clearly the other may not be there at all.

Difference of opinions create more useful products vs consensus

Trading items of unequal value to build trust in exchanges.

The value of incremental vs big or exact success

Always communicate.

What is the standard?  Put it in writing

What’s really going on, state it clearly to disarm

Don’t make yourself the issue.

Always ask:  When’s the talk?

Emotional appeal first, then questions then examples.

Disagree and commit has problem:  may say ok but not whole heartfelt committed.  So try incrementally or trade ” do this and I’ll do this” trade of unequal value

When are you committed to relationship than just doing it to survive

Are PR Agencies Dead?

Brian Solis is pioneer of moving the PR industry into and beyond the PR 2.0 era. He’s also an Intel Insider, one of 10 social media advisers I get to work with. Putting Public Back in Public Relations

I shot the video (at bottom) during the “Are PR Agencies Dead?” panel at South by Southwest 2009 just days before Brian’s new book was released called “Putting Public Back in Public Relations.”

This is one for the ages, an accessible read for students studying Journalism/Public Relations in college…and a great addition to my BookStack.

The week prior to SXSW, Brian gave me some great advice about getting the @intel Twitter account started using a “curator” approach rather than sharing a persona like some of the excellent account like Zappos and ComcastCares.

Over the past three years, I’ve seen Brian grow more prolific, helping so many people with his insights about PR, about how to best use social media and networking tools and how to go off and do something wonderful with your online persona. Today, he even has an interesting Micro Disruption Theory and The Social Effect.

Brian is someone well worth any free or multitasking time you can spare.  Here is a widget that will let you follow Brian Solis’ great photography, blog and Twitter posts.

Update:  Here is a great interview of Brian Solis by Seesmic mastermind Loic Le Muer:

Teach Behavioral Intelligence Across All Academic Fields, Along Every Career Path

The recent “Collaborating and Sharing Bring Real Value” post hijacked my imagination this morning. What if behavioral intelligence could be woven into our college major corriculum?

Principles of Psychology 101 would remain on the basic requirement list. As we climbed closer up our chosen education ladder towards our career path, that’s when we could build an understanding for how to work with people we’ll be collaborating with in the work world.

For any decision making situation — crisis or process — our professor might ask her students some empowering questions. As we move into careers, we might continue asking these types of questions:

  • How can I help, not force or overwhelm others into (submission) understanding?
  • Who do I admire and might my heroes behave?
  • What would Martin Luther King Jr. say ?
  • How would Gandhi handle this?
  • If I did it like this, might I be elitist, arrogant and doomed like Mussolini?
  • How might Seth Godin flip my view in a better direction so that my decision results in something special others find helpful, useful?
  • Does what I’m advocating entails shouting at a market rather than what Doc Searls might do: participate with others in a market?
  • What question would Jeremiah Owyang ask that’d break down a wall blocking me from reaching a goal with measurable results?
  • How might Rohit Bhargava take my well-intentioned approach and subtly re-engineer it into a more interesting, compelling and engaging action that might be more meaningful for my team or others I’d like to run with my idea/hope/plan?
  • How would springboard storyteller Stephen Denning craft a meaningful visual anecdote to help me jettison the imagination of my teammates, sending them surfing on a parallel brainwave alongside me?
  • Is there a point where I can squeeze in some passion sparked by my “Life Purpose” like Eckhart Tolle teaches?

My BookStack, collection of classics and poetry play a role in my decision making and influence how I embrace change.  I just found Terry’s Take on Business, a cool blog with a great collection of succinct book reviews for business.  For me, data is important but behavioral intelligence is the “core” or “key takeaways” inside every great great book, story, poem, movie…even a campaign plan.

Homer’s Iliad showed me the ruinous destruction of wrath and hubris — something I watch for in me and bubbling up in teammates. Then Homer’s Oddysey opened my eyes to the endless potential of intelligence as Odysseus blends knowledge of self, and open mind, quick wit, teamwork and cunning to keep on course. Odysseus makes me think of Mike Moran’s Do It Wrong Quickly — sure, we’ll stop at this isle of nymphs or scheme the giant Cyclops…be let’s hit it and quit it so we can escape alive and sail back home to my castle to be with the woman I love.

I wonder if The Institute of Behavioral Sciences could help create a common thread of behavioral intelligence training across all fields of academics. And career coaches and businesses would continue driving better appreciation and understanding of productive behavior, behavior where excellent criticism is immediately followed with excellent suggestions that help move things ahead.

If we really can mature civility with each generation, this is the time to pump up the importance of behavior in our information era.

At some point in our lives, we all say, “I’m going to keep learning forever!” Books are essential for learning. Yet there are are other powerful sources for learning behaviors that help us improve through times of change.  At any decision making point the people you involve become ingredients for moving beyond goals.  These ingredients build trusting relationships strengthen by informed behaviors that help us accomplish things better, more quickly.

If you regularly sharpen my behavioral skills, would you be more valuable, more helpful to your team, company and your own career.

Groundswell’s on My Bookstack

Groundswell Books, originally uploaded by Forrester Research, Inc..

This photo was taken at the Forrester Research Marketing summit this week — really wish I could’ve been there. But I did follow some of the action Jeremiah Owyang shared on his blog.

Forrester shared a copy with me — it arrived from Boston a few weeks ago. I gotta get into it. My Intel buddy Neil is approaching chapter three and he gave me the thumbs up.

I got to help Charlene Li connect with some Intel social media pioneers, including Josh Bancroft, who told how he created Intel’s first company Wiki called Intelpedia.

Charlene Li at Forrester\'s Marketing Summit in APril 2008, about a month after the release of \

My BookStack February 2008

BookStack_Feb2008, originally uploaded by KenEKaplan.

This is a follow up to my first “BookStack” post, which was inspired by a social media wiseman, Douglas Pollei.

After I finish Seth Godin’s new book “Meatball Sundae,” I’m movin’ ahead to my next stack of books for the year.

Some of these I already finished:

* “Let Your Life Speak,” a book about listening for the voice of vocation by Parker J. Palmer.
* “Who Moved My Cheese,” which is about how we can get unstuck when we need to change by Spencer Johnson, M.D. (a quick read on a plane ride).

But I’d like to mix in some more mind exercises with storytelling, marketing and communications. Some of these are a few years old, but here they are:

* “Mashup Corporation,” about the culture of communications change in the corporate world by Andy Mulholland, Chris S. Thomas, Paul Kurchina and Dan Woods.
* Seth Godin’s legendary “Permission Marketing,” which I believe is inside me already, but I want to get it in Seth’s words.
* “A Whole New Mind,” is about why right-brainers will rule the future by Daniel Pink. Not so sure I believe that yet, so it’ll be cool to feel my reaction.
* “The Springboard” is a book by Stephen Denning, who outlines how storytelling ignites action in knowledge-era organization. I’m a big fan of storytelling!